*4.22.2005*
i moved to www.iamsobad.blogspot.com. just wanna try new things in my life coz i believe that LIFE IS A MATTER OF CHOICE NOT A CHANCE...u see the connections??i guess there is no connection in it...hahahaha!!!!
buds @ 11:15 AM
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*2.21.2005*
hey guys, wazz up...sorry got no posts for you to read about me this past many days coz ive been to busy or sumthing...harhar!!there are a lot of things that happened to me and i think its kinda embarassing to relate it to all of you...harhar!!!but im so happy with the things that happened..its an experience that every gays dream to be...and then we practiced the sampaguita interlude(its CEU's great trademark)..then we filled the things we should fill inorder for us to graduate...hahaha...am i really graduating???hope so!!!!but i guess ill be and i MUST!!! oh dear god...got no other things to write again...thats all!!!
LA LANG!!!I JUST FEEL LIKE SUMMER IS COMING SO IM TRYING TO PUT ON MY SUNGLASSES...
buds @ 7:55 PM
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*1.27.2005*
HOLLER
oh my god...i am so TIRED right now...i handled Grade 5 students this past 3 days and its kinda hassle...they made me holler so much...i am screaming at the top of my lungs..well, i accept coz thats the essence of being a teacher...to shout and shout and shout again for the rest of our lives...PATIENCE, and still PaTIENCE is the answer on evry hassle days...so HELP ME GOD!!!
buds @ 11:26 PM
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*1.25.2005*
Sad...Happy
its a tiring day for me. so tired with my OJT...and i have to spend 83 hours more on it...Oh dear God!!! give me more strength and more patience...on feb. 02 is my final demo. i havent done anything with my visual aids..shame on me...but im working on it tonite...i thank my cooperating teacher coz she is helping me in preparing for it...i guess im still blessed..thats why i still have a reason to be happy...another one is that our thesis is already done with the editing portion...and its on the step for releasing or i must say BOOKBIND...hahaha!!!Thanks be to God...soon...i'll Be Graduating...but first i must pass my birth certificate at the registrar's office...hehehe...
buds @ 1:05 PM
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*1.12.2005*
uLL never guess what, youll never believe this...i just checked my friendster and i saw my 2nd yr.college crush's new pics...HE WAS MY SEAT MATE DURING OUR TECHWRITE CLASS way back then..oh dear god!!!...i dont know what to say...i stole it and try to post on this site...enjoy lookin' ...LAGOT ako when he finnally realizes that i post it here...harhar!! P.S...all the stuffs he gave to me were all treasured.like the wrapper of chocolates,earing,diskette that im still using now,and all his papers that he used...thats all!!
BANYO KING
 pare PA kiss
buds @ 9:14 PM
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*1.06.2005*
he is so mean....
he called me m***R f***c3R. damn.bitch.DIRTY and so on.
I really dont deserve those words...
wish he'll BE burn in hell on what he did AND SAID to me...
the only problem to mYSELF is that i just told the truth...
truth shall prevail!!!...he thought he would put me down.
a BIG NO!!!!
my friends are always there to support me and FiGHT for me, no matter where side i am.
AND i want to take this oppurtunity to thank THEM all.
.....AECEE,RUSSEL,ANNE,EMI,KUKY,KRISTINE,KESS, PAM,DAHKEM,RYAN....
TO JEFF...TALK TO THE HAND AND READ MY MIDDLE FINGER!!!
buds @ 3:26 PM
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*12.18.2004*
enjoy lukin' my 21st bday pics...and i got 21 of them...
its my birthday today!!!...DECEMBER 18...i am already 21 years young!!...its a man's debut, but i told myself, my debut has finished...its just an ordinary day actually... i wanna thank all the people who greeted me...calla,jeffer,gzel,maricar,macel,peps,ate joie,tita S(mom of Kessa),ate joan,cuzz cherry,tita nats,geno,buddie,deneidict and of course my beautiful girls...aecee,kuky,tin,kess,pam,arnie,rusel,emi and anne...lastly, my ever loyal and loving friend RUTH...THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!HALAMAT!!!
i am trying myself to be happy because i know its my special day i guess...but i cant really tell you that i am the happiest...i was never excited to have this day...i just wished that this day would have been skipped at the calendar...i really cant tell you why coz i am not yet ready to confide it...i just wish for myself that i can graduate this coming march...have a good job soon...and hoping that we may pass on time our thesis,and a good health just like other people wished for...and how i wish FAIRY TALE is really true...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
buds @ 4:03 PM
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*12.02.2004*
what have i done to deserve this???...i;ve been a good person to him!!!i have given up my friends and evrything just for him...still its not enough...im still hurting and its hard to let go of this feeling that i have...i've been crying a river.i could never forget how hard i tried to fix evrything...still its not enough..ugghh!!!i'm tired...im hurt...im hopeless...im STUPID!!!!
its hard to move on actually...ive been crying a lot but i know crying would help me wash away all the pain i feel...i know im gonna be a survivor...i'm gonna make it...god is with me, also my multi talented friends...they wont leave me...i will survive and keep on SURVIVING!!!
buds @ 1:04 PM
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oh dear God...this is the most hagard day that i ever experienced in my life..i woke up this morning at 4am. i fetched water at the faucet because water is not available at daytime in our house. then i fixed myself in going to A Mabini Elementary School for my OJT...i rushed myself coz i dont wanna be late again...i arrived at A. mabini wondering where'd everybody go???...a teacher told me that classes are suspended because of a severe thypoon that will come...oh dear god!!! is hould be sleeping right now, i Told my self...i went straight home...and the worst thing is that emi texted me and the message was delayed due to my 3210 cellphone that has no signal...hahaha...a very bad day i guess...to ease my bad morning, i just let myself enjoy the availability of the webcam...i poses and here are my pics...a very lovelybuds!!!!
 
buds @ 10:54 AM
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*11.23.2004*
i cant help myself, Pam says it, even kessa aecee and Kooky says it... still im putting myself in a situation that ill be the one getting hurt AGAIN in return. DAMN!! If you just know how much i LOVE him... No words can Explain evrytime im with him. Iam The queen of the Damned of all Damn...what am i saying? Im becoming insane again... i am investing so much feelings to a person taht i know he cant be mine in the end.. i cant blame myself, im just human who feels how to love and to be loved in return. I just want to say to the people concern that loving him makes me feel contented with my life, so please dont steal that feeling! everybody hates me now, due to my decisions about him... i really love him and i hope you understand it... i really love him and i really wanted to show to him how i feel... i dont want to take him for granted, coz i never know when i might lose him, and i never get the chance to show how i feel...hope you all get my point... maybe someday all the love i showed him would be given back to me, i am not closing doors for him...i beleive in fairy tale... just like anne says, FaIRY taLE comes true if YOU just BeLIEVE And LeARN to WAIT.. there is a fairy tale in every human's heart... so Please Give Me some DAMN cHANCES!!
buds @ 10:26 PM
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*11.08.2004*
I AM HOPEFUL WHEN HOPELESS....I may face hopeless situations, something unavoidable, like accident, heartache and death. but i will not be affected negatively. i Will qoute what someone said, "hopeless situations are reminders that i am helpless without God. He is my only Hope....
if youve already heard that jeff and me are in some kind of big trouble right now.i admit all my mistakes. it was really my fault and i am still sorry with it.hope i can turn back times. i miss jeff so much.it started during kessa's bday. i wont relate the story now coz it is still hurting m inside and i dont want to recall such. JeFF if youll read this, i AM SO SORRY!!! you really dont deserve to be alone that nite. i should have accompanied you. i AM SO SORRY Again. and to all my friends who tried me to stay on that night, no offensement, i just want to tell you that you should have supported me on my lovelife. you know that you came first in my life and you should have not let me chose between our friendships and JeFF..you should be happy for me that night. i am sorry again to my friends for saying those things, but i just wanna let go of my emotions that i cant say to you face to face..i Chose my friends because i dont want all of them to get angry with me...i am so numb...it still hurts in me..i've made the wrong decision and it still hurting inside..and i cant help myself but cry...Hope you all got my point..i should have followed my heart..i am suffering with my wrong decisions..-
buds @ 9:54 PM
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*10.08.2004*
Ladies and gents, i want you to meet my dear friend jeffrey gonzales...this guy looks great.he is a bit like joross from scq..what do you think?? i met him through odhaleah,the star in a million finalist(during the batch of eric santos) its odha's brother. i really now believe in love at first sight. he is so ...huh, my god!!! i like him also because he is a nice man and a good child to his parents, he can really make you laugh with his jokes.he is my best buddy as of now.hope that our friendship last forever..he is so handsome and if you are with this guy, time really runs fast. i am so addicted with this guy. i cant even say "no" to him..he is simply irresistible.. just wish me luck with him,ok???
buds @ 2:54 PM
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*9.24.2004*
RED AS BLOOD
it was 2am last sept 23,2004 all of us at home are asleep and my brother knocked with a loud banging at the door. nobody heard him, and we thought also that he has the key...and to our surprise, he punched the window glass and made his arms bleed...so much blood came out and i didnt have anything to do ..i was shocked...i didnt know what to do then...i went upstairs and try to calm down but i couldnt help it...coz i saw my brother in red arms...a shocking dawn for us...his friend that is actually a nurse told me to get first aid kit...but all i can find was alcohol...i cant find the kit so i asked kana(other housemate) to help me find it...she found it and i never went downstairs coz i couldnt stand to see the red blood that is flowing...my bro.s friend says that there are deep wound in it and many broken glasses were in it so they hurried my brother to the hospital...
i really dont know what to do then, i cant sleep...ive been traumatized when my father had a heart attack...it was the same thing...i ddnt know what to do again...i feel helpless...i just prayed all nite long...i really couldnt sleep...
i had the chance to talk with my brother and asked him why he did that...he just say that his patience went on him...he was knocking the door many times...and nobody hears him but for the fact that our brother in-law lying at the couch...so my brother thought that he is trying to do it in purpose...and i want to say my feelings to my brother in law that I HATE HIS GUTS...and my brother told me that he wants to leave the house and he doesnt know that its been what i longed for this past days...I really dont want to live in our house too...Its just that i dont belong...maybe my brother felt it too...If you just see my Brother-in-law, he was soo uhggg!!! i hate it...even my friends hate him...
then my mom called, she was also in her shocking moments when she heard abt. it...and all i can hear on the phone(coz i was the one who answers) was all !!**$%4^@@#!!!! and i told her to calm down...mom talked with my brother and it seems all went right....
it was really a tough day coz i cant explain the feeling...i love my brother so much that i dont want anything bad that will happen to him...his right hand is full of bandages and stitches...and i thank God that there was nothing worse that happen to him...because i dont know what to do if that so...
buds @ 1:32 PM
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*9.13.2004*
ThE MaNy FaCeS Of ME
the eye...
hair me out!!!
globe autoload gay...
Shocking...
Fuck U'R shit!!
Head hurts...Ouch
assuming model!!
buds @ 1:45 PM
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*9.10.2004*
i want you to meet the sweetest couple on the earth. they made me beleive on true love. even though my cuzin joy, on my father side is from spain and my cuzin norman, from mother side is from hawaii...they still love each other..because we know that a long distance affair wouldnt really lasts...but i know that they can make it until the end of time...harharhar!!!they inspired me so much in some many ways..they are the true reflection of love...i know that god is with them through all the way...hope they will always live happily ever after...because a fairy tale is always in us if we believe... muchas gracias!!!
buds @ 2:50 PM
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Ive Been an avid fan of the charmed one since first year college...my cuzz ria really had a good job in influencing me to like them...i really like the casting of charmed...even though my favorite charmed one, prue(shannen doherty) left, i still watch it coz those sexy guys that teamed up with these girls are so heart wracking!!! just try to watch it and youll enjoy it...im sure...
buds @ 2:20 PM
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The BEsT ThiNGS iN LiFE ArE For FrEE I ALWAYS REMEMBER WHEN I WAS STILL A KID. ALL THE THINGS THAT I WANTED TO DO., LIKE SWIMMING ALL OVER THE OCEAN, PLAYING "PATINTERO", HIDE AND SEEK TOGETHER WITH MY FRIENDS.AND DOING WHAT A TYPICAL KID DOES...AS I LOCATE MYSELF NOW, ALL THOSE THINGS ARE JUST MEMORIES FROM THE PAST. I CANT GET BACK TO THOSE HAPPY MOMENTS THAT AN INNER CHILD ALWAYS CRAVES FOR. THINGS ARE ALREADY DIFFERENT NOW.BUSY WITH CLASS SCHEDULES, DRAMA WORKSHOPS AND TO ADD TO THAT, THESIS..I REALLY MISS THOSE MEMORIES IN MY LIFE...I USE TO GO TO SOME PLACES THAT YOU REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO RELATE AND LOCATE OTHER PEOPLE'S MINDS..I AM NOW IN A WORLD OF CHANGE..CHANGE THAT A STRONG PERSON MUST FACE...I BELEIVE IN THE SAYING THAT THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FOR FREE...YOU CANNOT BUY FAITH WHEN YOU NEEDED IT...YOU CANNOT BUY HOPE WHEN YOU ARE WEARY...YOU CANNOT BUY HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE SAD...MY LIFE NOW IS JUST LIKE A MELANCHOLIC TONE THAT NEEDS A JAZZ TONE TO FEED ALL MY DREAMS AND MEMORIES...WE MIGHT NOT KNOW THAT REINCARNATION IS REAL, AND IF ITS REAL, I REALLY CANT WAIT TO GET BACK ON MY CHILDHOOD DAYS...HOPING THAT I WOULD BE A REAL GIRL ON MY FUTURE...DONT GET ME WRONG, OK??? ITS OK TO DREAM, DREAMING IS FOR FREE.
buds @ 2:02 PM
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*8.24.2004*
PaiN iN Me
Pain, when will the time that you walk away from me? Many things had already happened in my life, and life had been so cruel that it didnt gave me the life i really wanted, like being together with my family..because since kinder, my mom went to other country in order to help my father in raising us...and it hurts a lot because no mom was there to see me grow. I grew up in a world longing for a mom...maybe that's why i sometimes act in a child way...
Pain in love, i have loved so much many men that didnt love me back...Frustrating, isnt it?? love always sucks in my case...
in many cases, questions always come in my mind if what the hell did i do to deserve so much pain in life...
Then i opened a sacred book and it has its answer to all of my questions...it goes like this...
"IF YOU NEVER FEEL PAIN, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IM A HEALER?
IF YOU NEVER FEEL SADNESS, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IM A COMFORTER?
IF LIFE IS PERFECT, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ME?"
That message came from GOD, and it helped me realize that life is not always perfect in evry people...we all have sorrows and pain. This is given to us by God, inorder for us to fight and move on.
Hoping that with this simple words of mine, you may be able to realize some things also for your soul...
buds @ 3:38 PM
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